LIFE....
Up until recently I never really thought about the "aging" process or even death. It's came across my mind here and there...but really never brothered me. The first thought of me getting older was after I had my kids and they started growing.....I realized how fast life goes by. It seems like yesterday I had the Twins and look 5 years past in a blink of an eye. Where did that time go? 5 years ago my dad was happy, healthy and enjoying
his grand kids. 5 years ago my family was right where I wanted it to be. 5 years ago I took life for granted. Life was good! The first time I truly realized that Life has no guarantees and you must take one day at a time and enjoy them like it's your last was when my dad got told he had Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS). Brings me right back in that moment....I feel my stomach turning an nausea setting in right at this moment. Take a breath. Better! When my dad was told he had less that 2 years to live he was already in a wheel chair and loosing his speech. How nasty is this disease...I hate it with a passion. I fear this disease. It took over my life, it has changed me and my life FOREVER. Each day my dad was dying, I seen it with my own eyes....Everyday he lost something else...whether it be his left hand,right leg, I seen A grown man cry like I never seen before....My dad was the "man of the family and to see him in this
condition torn me apart....It changed each one of my family members. I wondered everyday and asked god why? Why my dad...didn't got know this wasn't my plan. My plan was that he was suppose to live until he was 80 and I was going to take care of mom and dad. Then I realized this was God's plan and he already knew what was going to happen. Durning this time I feared death. I thought about.... if rolls were reversed i couldn't even image not living this life and watching my kids grow up. My dad told me that he much rather be where he's at right now then see any of his kids or grand kids go before him. Which is true. As a parent I agree with that. My dad told me he's not afraid to die but will miss all of us and hope that will be ok when the time comes when he's no longer here......man this is hard to write...emotions....I hate emotions. At the end my dad lost everything he only had his eyes....I wondered how he got
through everyday. I always said I couldn't go through what my dad went through. But maybe you get through it because you have comfort....My dad was a believer of God. I believe God walked every step with my dad right up until the end and that is why dad was at peace. So from my dad's passing, God taught me a few good lessons. Not to take life for granted at anytime life can change on a dime. Through my dad I become a true believer in him. If i didn't have my faith i wouldn't of survived my dad's passing. My darkest days I lean on him to get me through it. I no longer live in fear. Fear will not control my LIFE. Yes, the past 5 years were great and those memories will always be with me. Death will not control me, I will not fear it. Isn't Heaven the place we all strive to be anyway? Even though looking back at the
past and knowing that life was where i wanted it to be. The present brought me great things as well. Life is full of twist and turns and ya just got to go with it...I might of feared my dad's death and death myself but out of this my dad taught me the biggest lesson of all.....Enjoy everyday like it your last, don't sweat the small stuff, Don't live in the
past, move on to the present and the future. Just have a little bit of FAITH! Do you fear anything?
Dad we miss you and think of you daily. You found and created great things...A awesome wife that stood by you to the end, Three incredible children(if I do say
so myself!) and 15 grandchildren. What a great legacy! We
love and miss you everyday!
Cat
What kids will do for Cupcakes. Our kid's are great in public! Well that's only because they cling to us and won't leave our side. They have always been this way. Were trying to get them to interact a bit more. So when we were on vacation we went to the kids activity room and they had so much to do their. Kids running around everywhere....my kids were wrapped around us with no intention of playing....but when they called for all the kids to come over and play a game..to win a CUPCAKE.....Guess who's kids wanted to go! Yes, mine did. That's right. They participated in a game all by themselves....This is HUGE for them!Ah, Finally my kids are becoming "normal". So out of seven five of them won cupcakes and well of course we couldn't let the other two go without so here they are enjoying the cupcakes! Who would of thought you could still fly down the hills with a half of inch of snow on the ground!!! That ended quickly after Keegan wiped out....He wanted nothing to do with sledding after that. It took me forever to convince him that it would be fun. Go figure I talk him into it and the first time down he wipes out! Sorry Keegan! Next time I'll make sure their is actually snow on the ground so if you wipe out again... it wont be you wiping out in a bunch of hard,cold sand!
